Shift Your Focus
Identify What Is Important
What is the most precious thing in your life? Think about it for a minute…. You will probably start thinking of who…. That’s right, for most of us, the most precious thing in our life is a human: A spouse, kids, siblings, parents, friends… How do they fit into your life? How do you spend your time with them? What piece of yourself do you give them? The best piece? Or the leftover tired, limp piece that doesn’t have any energy left and is tired and grouchy?
Make Each Moment Count
In this life, nothing lasts forever, tomorrow may never come. How do you make each moment count? Life is messy and busy so how do you push the clutter aside and keep the focus on what is really important? If you’re like me, you want to give the best of yourself to your family, but the to-do list is never ending, the schedules are a feat in themselves to juggle and after carpooling, cooking, cleaning, laundry, working and corralling the chaos, there’s just nothing left to give. The plans made early in the day to have energy left, to be cheerful and fully invested in your family when they are all under one roof at the end of the day didn’t quite work out.
I’m here to tell you, it’s possible!! What??!! Yes, it’s possible! It just takes some refocusing on what is truly important, and some determination to keep the plan in focus. I struggle with this often. But, with some small changes in my thought processes and some deliberate choices I’m getting better at it.
Have you ever found yourself in the kitchen doing dishes after supper while the rest of the family is lounging around, hanging out without you. And you get super upset (on the inside of course) and resent that you “have” to do all the clean up alone? Oh yeah! and while you are cleaning up supper you remember you have a dryer full of clothes that need attention, and a couple loads on the bed that haven’t gotten folded and put away yet…. And just when you thought you might, just might, get a chance to let your breath out and be in the same room as your family for a few minutes.
I’m not going to lie, this has totally happened to me. This is not a made up hypothetical situation. I’ve been there, more than once!! Please tell me I’m not alone!!
Here’s the thing. Those tasks will never be done. There will always be dishes to clean, laundry to do, bathrooms that need attention, windows and mirrors with streaks on them, baseboards that need to be wiped down, or dusting to do. I know, you might be thinking “but if I could just get those things done I could relax” face it honey, they won’t ever ALL be done at one time, and therefore the list is just a revolving door of unfinished business.
So the question is - What do you want to see when you look back into the window of your past? Someone who is frustrated, constantly working to keep up? Or do you want to see memories that make you feel complete?
When I first thought about this, I mean, was brutally honest with myself, and really thought about this idea, I had to sit down and process. I realized what I was saying was important and the things I was actually doing were not the same. I was in the habit of putting too much emphasis on the mundane, always there tasks and not putting my focus where I really wanted it - on my ‘blossoms’ - my family. That is not what I wanted to look into the past and remember, but the question is “How do I change it?”
Let It Go
Easy - LET IT GO. Whatever your “it” is, let IT go. Easy to say, hard to do. Here’s some things to help put this idea into perspective.
Remember:
Time is fleeting
This season of life your child is in is fleeting (he/she won’t always be 1, 3, 7, 10, 15,) and before you know it you’ll look back and wonder where the time went and how you “lost” those precious moments.
There isn’t a guarantee of tomorrow.
Choose To Make A Difference
If you want to make a difference in your kid’s life right now, today is what you have so make it count! This is sometimes hard to remember, but keep telling yourself “right now, today is what I’ve been given, what am I going to choose to do with it?”, now is the time to make a difference. For me, this shift in focus puts the sink of dirty dishes into perspective. When my daughter wants to play a game or snuggle and read together or talk; instead of saying to her “Later, when I’m done with this” (which let’s be honest, later never comes) I assess what I’m doing and try to make a conscious choice to stop, leave it (don’t worry, that mess will still be there waiting for you later!!!! No, joke). Or, if it’s something age appropriate I will ask her to help me so we can get done double fast and I can then come do what she’s wanting to do. This tactic is kind of a sneak attack though!! You just might get your child to willingly help with dishes or laundry, and you get those precious minutes with them in conversation while doing that particular chore, and then you get to hang out with them and do something they are really into also. A two-for-one, a win-win.
I hope you choose to ‘bloom your blossoms’.
